How To Fake Your Way Through A Wine Tasting So No One Knows You're Just There For The Alcohol

Posted: Mar 16, 2021

If you haven’t yet been on a winery tasting because you feel like it will fly right over your head, let me just say that you’re missing out big time – you don’t have to be a grape juice aficionado to appreciate a decent winery.

So, if the only thing that’s holding you back is your lack of wine knowledge, I’m here to act as your guide to bluffing your way through the day. It’s surprisingly simple to appear more knowledgeable than you actually are.

  1. Learn a few keywords

There’s really only a couple of buzzwords you need to know to pull off the ultimate winery tour bluff:

  • ‘Aroma’
  • ‘Earthy’
  • ‘Rich’
  • ‘Fruity’
  • ‘Hearty’  

2. Distract everyone with non-wine related comments

If you head to a winery such as Sidewood Estate in the Adelaide Hills, you’ll find there’s so much around you that you can comment on when you get stuck remembering your keywords.

Book a little day bed like the one below and you can spend a solid hour lying about the type of wood used to craft the beds.

3. Make sure someone finishes their glass first

The biggest telltale sign of a rookie wine connoisseur is that they’re more inclined to neck their wine, rather than sip it slowly and appreciate it.

So, as much as you’d probably want to scull your wine to get nice and buzzed, just make sure you’re one step behind someone else in your group.

By Louis Costello
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